The London Music Awards sucks hairy ass

A certain London band dominated 2025. it’s no surprise they haven’t been nominated, but it’s a damn shame that a controversy around sexual misconduct so easily took down the riot grrrls …… all the while smokes like lightning beat out the crowd favourite blues act. Just saying it now that he’s in with the London Music Awards, nobody’s career is at stake; Mitch made me far more uncomfortable than Lee ever did. It was a few years ago though, people can change. Now he’s an industry dude instead of a bar stud!

I know. I know. It’s done. I just have a hard time letting things go when their replacements are so much worse. It was soul crushing, seeing a little girl named “hope” on the stage, waving at the crowd. No older than 5 years old. Industry gets to ‘em far sooner than I realized. I hope she gets out of the boys club, and stays away from rock music.

Oh! In the rock category, Texas King beat out the Thunder Queens. How much proof do we need? Rock is dead. That’s why the show closer was a Free Bird cover with an Indian Headdress as the backdrop. A real insult to the Indigenous openers, who were then made into a joke by the introductory remarks calling attention to a sloppy drum entrance. Sound guys fault, the hand drums weren’t even mic’d.

Let’s remember, the Anishinaabe aren’t the laughing stock of this country, the Canadians are. So here’s some of their best lines:

“hip hop is always setting the tone and the mood and that’s our period” “you know the existential dread that follows such a ceremony” “like a drummer who missed their cue” “let’s hand out some trophies before people realize they’re just fancy participation ribbons”

Y’all think London is a joke, and I’m inclined to agree. Wait yeah, the venue award went to a place in Stratford. Somehow no mention of poachers or stompfest? Honey dip???? Hello? I know it’s underground but wtf

Then, a fantasy band category. Clearly just an unofficial nod to Juice Joint, but maybe it’s called the Nathan Nykor Ensemble now. Whatever ends up happening with that group, their next release will knock Guy Lombardo as London’s canonical jazz act. It’s SERIOUSLY well done.

And rapid fire to finish this off: Simon Larochette wasn’t nominated for Engineering Oh Berlin wasn’t nominated for pop or rock Lido Pimienta wasn’t nominated for pop or latin the AI announcer pronounced Insyt as “in sit”,,, and someone’s mom beat Kai at hip hop because tha tribe voters were split 3 ways.

Of course the afro cuban winner didn’t even show up. He knows very well, the spirit isn’t in the industry.

Which takes us to the best band that’s still in motion. Not sure what they’re doing lending their genius to the London Music Awards, since considering how they’re in a genre of their own, they’ll never be nominated for anything in London.

It’s Willow Switch, by the way. I’ve been loving their debut since 2023, and I couldn’t be more excited (and terrified) for the upcoming release of “Samhain”. Captivating, soul-commanding performances– every single time. Consistency, self-expression, uniqueness, and a political undertone. Gotta be demonic assistance right? Because how else?

Written by AWRF